


Ways To Stay Alive

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, iridae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They cling to what remains of their lives and never let go, because at this point that’s all any of them can hope to do.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Kudos: 4





	Ways To Stay Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by and heavily references [this post](http://iridae.tumblr.com/post/62467006069/fifteen-ways-to-stay-alive-1-offer-the-wolves)

**ways to stay alive**

  


**1 - give the wolves only your arm**  
  
---  
  
  


When Mark wakes up, it’s to shouting and yelling outside of his tent.  
  
At first he thinks it’s the dream again--he almost expects to hear that one voice shouting his name, screaming for Mark to run, but that voice doesn’t come. It never comes, these days, except in the dream.  
  
Mark isn’t dreaming now, though. And someone _is_ calling his name - Jackson, it sounds like? - so Mark rolls out of his sleeping bag and makes his way outside.  
  
There are two boys, strangers. One of them is thin and weedy, and has a sort of baby face that makes Mark sure he can’t be more than sixteen or seventeen years old. The second one is taller, looks far more mature, but the way he’s acting makes Mark think he’s even younger than the first.  
  
Then again, all the shaking and crying could just be because of the huge, gaping wound in his side.  
  
“Mark, we need to get these guys some help, quickly,” Jackson is there, pulling the injured boy’s arm over his shoulders and helping him move faster towards the camp. The skinny kid trails helplessly behind, watching his friend with teary, scared eyes. Mark watches him with this sort of dull, morbid curiosity, but Jackson isn’t paying any attention to that kid at all. Instead he pulls the injured one closer to their little cluster of tents and yells; “Youngjae! Quick, c’mon, we need you!”  
  
Youngjae appears a couple of seconds later, shooting out of his and Jaebum’s shared tent in mismatched clothes that make him look like he’s just thrown on whatever was in reach in his hurry to get outside. Mark wouldn’t care or even notice, except that some of those ill-fitting clothes Youngjae’s grabbed are clearly Jaebum’s, and when Jaebum himself comes crawling out of the tent looking sheepish a few moments later Mark knows he was right.  
  
The reminder of how they are, what they are to each other stabs at him in a way that Mark doesn’t like, so he turns away. Takes a breath. It’s not their fault. It’s no one’s fault.  
  
As the designated healer of the group, being the only one with any real knowledge of first aid at all, Youngjae is given the tall kid to bandage up whilst Jackson and Jaebum set about trying to calm down the other one. They’re coaxing a name out of him, and he gives them one, but it sounds foreign and the odd letters slip out of Mark’s head almost immediately after hearing them.  
  
Mark goes to Youngjae and his patient instead, laid out on the ground outside Jackson’s tent. Mark kneels down beside where Youngjae is working and asks, without looking down at the boy, “What happened?”  
  
“Wolves, it looks like,” Youngjae mutters back, glancing to the kid for confirmation. The kid nods, bottom lip quivering miserably as he watches Youngjae take bandages and antiseptic out of their only first aid kit. Only when Youngjae touches the wound does the boy actually cry out from the pain; a long, drawn-out wail that has his friend bursting into tears and Youngjae apologising for ‘having to do this’.  
  
Only now does Mark actually look down at the kid’s injury, and just from a glance he can appreciate that he’s not crying for nothing. The wound is bad; deep teeth marks ripped into his side, staining his clothes and skin with blood. The wolf clearly had a good hold on him -- Mark thinks it’s a wonder that the boys ever escaped at all.  
  
“Were you attacked?” Mark asks the kid, even if he already knows the answer.  
  
The boy nods, sniffling and whimpering in pain but answering nonetheless. “It came out of nowhere.”  
  
“It? There was just one?”  
  
“Just one that we saw-- Kunpimook beat it off before it could kill us.”  
  
“That was brave of him,” Youngjae mutters absently as he starts bandaging the boy’s side. “Sorry, did you tell us your name before?”  
  
“Yugyeom,” the boy shakes his head. “My name’s Yugyeom.”  
  
Youngjae is about to say something more, but Mark cuts across him before he can get a word out.  
  
“It was stupid to expose yourself, Yugyeom,” he says, “a wound like that should’ve killed you; you’ve been very lucky. Next time wolves attack, give them your arm and only your arm, and hope to God that’s all they take.”  
  
Youngjae is silent beside him. Yugyeom just looks up at Mark with wide eyes and nods, lip quivering again like a leaf in the breeze. Mark inclines his head once in return, before getting to his feet and walking away.  
  
---  
  
  


**2 - wear chapstick when kissing the bomb**  
  
---  
  
  


From the moment Jinyoung lays eyes on Jackson, it seems, he hates him.  
  
Mark doesn’t understand why; Jackson’s harmless, helpless. He comes stumbling across their tent in the early hours one day and begs them to help him, to take him to wherever they’re going, as long as they can get him out of this hell alive. Jackson’s got no one to help him and nowhere else to go, and Mark doesn’t think twice about taking him in.  
  
Mark doesn’t understand why it makes Jinyoung so angry, but it does. Soon enough they’re stomping around, hissing at each other in angry Korean so that Jackson won’t be able to listen to what they’re saying. It’s probably for the best for him, in the end -- none of what they’re saying is particularly nice.  
  
“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” Jinyoung snarls, “I can’t believe you’d just fucking _do this_ , Mark, without even _talking_ to me. We need to keep moving--have you seen those monsters?! If we’re being hunted we can’t let this guy drag us back, he’ll get us killed!”  
  
“We _are_ moving, Jin,” Mark reminds him, shooting a furtive glance at Jackson just to make sure he’s out of earshot, even though it makes no difference. Jackson is from Hong Kong, and the only other language he knows at all is English. Mark doesn’t know how Jackson ended up in Korea, but he isn’t about to ask -- it’s not really any of his business, after all. “What makes you think he’ll slow us down? He’s just as scared as we are-- there’s strength in numbers, Jinyoung, we’ll be _fine_ -”  
  
“He doesn’t even speak Korean!” Jinyoung snaps, sending Mark a fiery glare. “How am I supposed to communicate with him?!”  
  
Mark shrugs. “He speaks English fine; I’ll just translate for you.”  
  
Jinyoung scoffs unkindly. “Yeah? And what if something happens to you, huh? What then?”  
  
Mark fixes his boyfriend of several years with a Look. “We can’t leave him behind.”  
  
“We can, Mark,” Jinyoung retorts, “you just won’t. And if this comes back to bite us in the fucking ass, well... Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
  
Jinyoung keeps on being snappy and mean for days afterwards, to Mark and Jackson both. The fear and stress is clearly getting to him -- it’s getting to everyone, nowadays -- so Mark just keeps his head down and waits for the storm to pass. Eventually, it does.  
  
Mark can’t help but notice, though, that when they come across Jaebum a little over a week later, Jinyoung has no problem accepting him into their little group despite Mark’s protests. He’s probably just being spiteful for nothing, Mark thinks -- it wouldn’t be the first time.  
  
The storm comes back again after that, but this time it shows no sign of stopping.  
  
---  
  
  


**3 - pretend you don’t know english**  
  
---  
  
  


Mark is studying-- _meant to be_ studying--for a big test the next day when his phone suddenly starts blowing up with texts from Jinyoung, asking to come into Mark’s dorm room. Mark shouldn’t let him, really, because he really does need to get his head down if he has any hope of passing tomorrow’s test, but he’s never been able to say ‘no’ to Jinyoung before and he’s not about to start now.  
  
Jinyoung waltzes into Mark’s bedroom the moment the door opens for him, flops down onto his boyfriend’s bed (Mark winces at the sound of all the notes he’s got strewn about over the duvet crumpling under Jinyoung’s weight) and makes himself perfectly at home, just like he has been doing for years already. “Wanna hear what I learned in Beginner’s English today?”  
  
Mark rolls his eyes as he lets the door fall shut again and makes his way back to his desk, but even if he tried he wouldn’t have been able to hide the fondness in his expression. “I’m supposed to be studying.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s why you let me in,” Jinyoung scoffs, waiting a second then throwing a pillow at the back of Mark’s head when he sits down at the desk and turns away from Jinyoung again without replying. “Oi! Listen!”  
  
“I’m studying, Jin, I don’t want to play with you.”  
  
“I’m not playing!” Jinyoung whines. Mark just ignores him again, smirking down at his notes as he hears Jinyoung let out a huff. Then, a moment later, Jinyoung speaks in his oddly accented English; “ _My boyfriend is very, very… Sexy._ ”  
  
Mark can’t help himself; he lets out a loud bark of laughter and turns around in the chair to pull a face at Jinyoung teasingly. “You did _not_ learn that in your Beginner’s English class.”  
  
Jinyoung gives him a look to say ‘I’m not done’ and Mark immediately presses his lips into a line, trying his best to hide the huge grin that’s threatening to break through. “ _My boyfriend_ ,” Jinyoung continues, “ _has a sexy face._ ”  
  
Mark tries not to laugh and almost succeeds. “You have a sexy face, too.”  
  
“ _And a sexy body._ ”  
  
“Is that the only sentence you learned?”  
  
Jinyoung throws another pillow at him. “ _Shut up_!”  
  
“Okay, that one you learned from me,” Mark grins cheekily, watching with amusement as Jinyoung rises to his feet again and walks towards Mark in an almost predatory fashion. Mark isn’t scared by it, though; if anything, it’s kind of exciting.  
  
Mark’s heartbeat picks up at around the same time Jinyoung reaches down to tip Mark’s face up towards him. Jinyoung simply watches him for a moment, his gaze heavy on Mark’s skin almost like a physical touch, before he parts his lips ever so slightly and commands in a whisper; “ _Kiss me_.”  
  
Mark’s not one to disobey, especially not when Jinyoung’s like this. He stretches up at the same time Jinyoung leans down and they meet in the middle, mouths slotting together like they were made for this exact purpose, made just for each other. Mark’s breath starts coming faster, hands start wandering over familiar territory and Mark knows where this is going, Mark has no intention of stopping it, but there’s still one part of him that just _has_ to make a joke and before he can stop himself Mark murmurs:  
  
“Y’know, I think I’m gonna have to talk to your teacher about what they’re teaching you in this English class…”  
  
Jinyoung smacks him for that and Mark laughs again, but Jinyoung just kisses him harder and holds Mark tighter and finally, _finally_ gets his boyfriend to shut up.  
  
---  
  
  


**4 - offer the wolves to the zombies**  
  
---  
  
  


They get attacked by a small wolf pack a few days after Yugyeom and Kunpimook appear. The attack is in broad daylight, and not very well-executed; the beasts must be getting desperate for food. Mark knows the feeling, but he’s learned how to be hungry by now. They all have -- they had no choice.  
  
The younger boys panic, but the original four are all too familiar with attacks like this by now. They kill the first wolf that pounces before it can get its jaws on any one of them, and they’re about to finish off the second when the pack suddenly lets out a collective howl of terror and flees.  
  
Kunpimook cheers, as does Yugyeom. They think it’s because they’ve killed the first wolf that the others in the pack are making a run for it.  
  
Mark wishes it were that simple.  
  
“We need to leave,” Jaebum announces to everyone, like Jackson, Mark and Youngjae aren’t moving out of the area already. “Yugyeom, c’mere, I’ll help you walk-”  
  
“Wait, why?” Kunpimook asks, as the still injured Yugyeom allows Jaebum to pull Yugyeom’s arm around his shoulders and start walking him quickly after the others. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“We didn’t scare the wolves, Kunpimook,” Jackson tells him, “they ran because-”  
  
“Shit, they’re here!”  
  
Youngjae spots them first and all six of the men turn to watch as their new enemy steps into view.  
  
Mark always expected that, in time, he’d grow used to the look of the zombies. He always thought that, once he’d seen enough of them, they wouldn’t seem so terrifying, wouldn’t chill him to the core and make every instinct in his body want to run.  
  
He was wrong.  
  
If anything, time has just made everything worse -- time and all the memories wound up in it. There are four in this group (the zombies seem to travel in packs just like the wolves do) and every single one of them has its eyes locked on the human survivors. The pack is slowly advancing, lean grey bodies easing down into a predatory crouch, and Mark represses the urge to vomit as he feels what must be the cold hands of death tickling across the back of his neck.  
  
“Guys,” Jackson breathes, gently dropping the rucksack from his shoulder and slipping out of his jacket. “Go now, slowly… No one make any sudden movements, no one scream…” He’s saying it for Yugyeom and Kunpimook’s benefit; the others already know exactly what to do.  
  
Despite the warning, though, Jackson takes a half-step towards the zombies and Kunpimook lets out a little gasp, reaching out as if to snatch Jackson back. “Hyung, don’t-!”  
  
“Wait,” Mark murmurs, a low warning that Kunpimook thankfully heeds. He swallows hard and starts to edge backwards with the others, but Kunpimook’s eyes remain on Jackson all the time. Mark watches them both carefully. “Stop it- don’t worry about him, he knows what he’s doing, just get ready to run.”  
  
Kunpimook doesn’t ask why, but he doesn’t have time to. Suddenly the zombies lurch forwards as if to pounce on their prey, and at the same moment Jackson flings his jacket towards them before spinning on his heel and sprinting away just like the rest of the survivors are. The jacket lands on the dead wolf’s body and that’s what the zombies start tearing into, or at least they will until they realise that this isn’t the pound of flesh they’ve been hunting for.  
  
Mark and the others run for as long as they can, thankfully all in one piece, and stay on high alert for the rest of the day. When night falls and there’s still no sign of the zombie pack, though, they start to think that maybe the zombies won’t find them again at all. Maybe they’ve gotten lucky this time.  
  
They arrange look-out duty (it’s Youngjae’s turn tonight, but Jaebum insists on sitting it out with him because, after an encounter like they had today, Jaebum always feels like he needs to have Youngjae near. Mark understands that feeling--or he used to. He doesn’t now. Not any more.) before setting up camp for the night and retiring into their respective spaces. Mark settles down to sleep beneath the flimsy fabric of his tent and sighs around the heaviness in his chest that has almost become a part of him, now, it’s haunted him so long. Mark closes his eyes and dreams of nothing.  
  
---  
  
  


**5 - only insert a clean knife into your chest (rusty ones will cause infection)**  
  
---  
  
  


They find Youngjae in much the same way they’ll find Yugyeom months later; pale and weak with a gaping hole in his body. Youngjae wasn’t attacked by any wild animals, though, he did this to himself; drove a dagger into his stomach, tried to end it while the choice was still his.  
  
Mark isn’t sure whether or not it’s right of them to save Youngjae -- Mark’s not sure they have any sort of right to make this decision for him -- but neither Jackson, Jaebum nor Jinyoung even wait to rush to his aid. Incredibly, Youngjae doesn’t seem to have hit anything really vital with the blade, so he’s still in pretty good shape even through the sobbing and shaking. It’s just the blood that’s worrying, but once they’ve managed to bandage Youngjae up the incessant bleeding stops soon enough.  
  
They find out what Youngjae tried to do, and a sort of stunned silence engulfs the group. He doesn’t give them the gory details, doesn’t give them much at all, but after a few minutes he touches the bandages with his fingertips gently and tears start to well up behind his eyes. “Please help me out of here. I don’t want to die.”  
  
Just like that, it seems, they find the fifth member of their little group.  
  
“Do you think they’ll be able to smell the blood on him? The wolves and zombies and shit?” Jackson asks in the odd peace that follows these events.  
  
He and Mark are sat side by side in the grass, a little way off from where the other three have gathered in a cluster together. Youngjae himself is somewhere between awake and asleep, laid out on the ground whilst Jaebum sits beside him, watching over him whilst Jinyoung looks out for any more potential attackers. The look on Jaebum’s face as he watches Youngjae is what interests Mark, though; he recognises it all too well from his younger years, though it hasn’t crossed him in recent years. Mark’s gaze drifts towards Jinyoung involuntarily and settles there.  
  
In his chest, his heart feels like lead.  
  
“Mark?” Jackson prompts, gently reminding Mark that he’s actually wanting an answer to his earlier question.  
  
Mark blinks, turns away from Jinyoung and tries to remember himself. Frowns after a moment and heaves a sigh. “I don’t know, man. Maybe.”  
  
Jackson sighs, now, running a hand through his hair in that way he does when he’s starting to stress out. “It feels like we don’t know anything at all about these things coming after us. Absolutely jack shit.” Jackson’s been learning Korean at quite an impressive rate over the past few weeks, but he still talks exclusively in English to Mark. Once he said it was because he’s most comfortable this way, but Mark thinks that by now Jackson probably just does it out of habit, or maybe just because it’s something that only Mark and Jackson can do.  
  
Mark idly wonders what Jinyoung thinks about that, if the increasingly distant young man ever thinks about Mark at all any more.  
  
They wait for maybe an hour, to let Youngjae recover at least a little bit, before they have to move again. Jaebum helps Youngjae to his feet and keeps a tight hold on him the entire time they’re walking -- no one is stupid enough to miss the lovestruck expression on his face, and so no one is surprised by his actions. Jackson actually seems to be incredibly entertained by it all, and keeps pulling faces at Mark whenever Jaebum tightens his grip on Youngjae a little too much to still be innocent.  
  
Jinyoung doesn’t talk to Mark while they move, but by this point Mark expects nothing less.  
  
The first time Mark and Jinyoung actually speak more than two words to each other that day is when night falls and they volunteer to keep watch over the little camp first. They sit side by side outside of their shared tent and watch as the others all crawl into their own shelters to sleep, leaving the site in relative silence.  
  
After a few long moments Jinyoung sighs, long and sad. “Why d’you think he did it? Youngjae, I mean?”  
  
Mark glances at Jinyoung out of the corner of his eye. “You mean, aside from the obvious zombie apocalypse?”  
  
“Yeah, I know, but what was the _turning point_?” Jinyoung asks, “What do you think was the thing that finally made him…?”  
  
Mark goes quiet at that. It takes him a good few moments to think of a reply, but even then all he can manage is; “I don’t know.”  
  
There’s a long silence, then Jinyoung swallows hard. He stares straight ahead, determinedly avoiding Mark’s eyes as he whispers; “What do you think will be the last straw for us?”  
  
“That won’t happen to us,” Mark says immediately, firmly, like it’s absolutely impossible because just the thought of losing Jinyoung like that is making Mark’s heartbeat speed up in a panic. No matter how much they’ve been fighting lately, Mark doesn’t want to live without him. He never wants to live without him.  
  
Jinyoung swings his head around to give Mark a Look. “Come on, answer properly.”  
  
“I am answering properly, Jin. It’s not going to happen.”  
  
Jinyoung sighs again. “Well… If it does-”  
  
“It won’t.”  
  
“ _If it does_ ,” Jinyoung repeats, slowly and clearly. Mark scowls a little but at least this time he lets Jinyoung finish. “Then at least do it… Right, I guess?”  
  
“Well I wasn’t aware there was a wrong way to kill yourself, so…”  
  
“No- I mean- don’t use a rusty knife,” Jinyoung tells him, taking long pauses to think of other examples. “Don’t- don’t wet the gunpowder or whatever the fuck it is. Do they even use gunpowder any more?”  
  
Mark snorts at the choice of example. “No idea.”  
  
Jinyoung shrugs. “Well, whatever. Just… Don’t hurt yourself, okay?”  
  
He’s looking at Mark now, with these big eyes all full of concern and caring and love. Love--Mark was almost beginning to think that Jinyoung had forgotten how they used to feel for each other. He was wrong, though; it’s all still right here, safe with Jinyoung, and the relief Mark feels is indescribable.  
  
He winds his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders and pulls him in for a gentle kiss, savouring the moment, breathing in as much of Jinyoung as he can. Mark’s missed this, this sweetness and innocence. He’s missed Jinyoung--Mark wishes he could know what’s happened to them.  
  
“Thank you,” Mark murmurs, pulling away only enough so he can talk but keeping Jinyoung close, where he belongs. “For taking care of me.”  
  
Jinyoung smiles at that, his eyes creasing in the corners like Mark knows they always have, since they were kids. “It’s what I do,” Jinyoung replies, before taking another chaste kiss from Mark’s waiting lips. Jinyoung then leans back again and they both get back to watching out for danger.  
  
At some point they move closer, huddling together for warmth. Jinyoung’s head is resting on Mark’s shoulder, Mark’s head leant atop Jinyoung’s, warm and comfortable just like they always used to be, before all the fear and danger and misery. Before the whole world crumbled.  
  
Mark misses that.  
  
---  
  
  


**6 - realise that this love was not your trainwreck - that love is still to come**  
  
---  
  
  


When Mark is in high school he gets his first broken heart. She’s funny and clever, and the prettiest thing Mark has ever seen, but she isn’t interested in him and there’s nothing Mark can do to change her mind. It hurts more than anything Mark’s ever known in his life, and that night he shuts himself away in his room, refusing to talk to anyone.  
  
It’s after around the ninth or tenth unanswered text that Jinyoung comes clambering up the drainpipe, making it through Mark’s second-storey window without any difficulty whatsoever only to trip over Mark’s desk and land in a heap on the floor with a loud, drawn-out cry of pain.  
  
“Holy fuck,” Mark says, but he doesn’t move from where he’s sat cross-legged at the foot of his bed because he’s far too miserable for that. It’s Jinyoung’s fault for coming in like he’s Spiderman or some shit, anyway. “I have a door, Jin.”  
  
“Yell at me later, Mark, please--this fucking _hurts_!” Jinyoung whines pitifully, staggering to his feet and cradling his wrist close to his body. “Shit, I think I’ve sprained it. I think it’s gonna fucking fall off.”  
  
“Go see a doctor, then,” Mark mutters, dropping his body sideways to curl up on his pillows, the very picture of misery. “Leave me in peace.”  
  
Jinyoung doesn’t do as Mark says, though. Instead he climbs up onto the bed and flops down beside Mark with his injured arm still held tight to his torso, shuffling as close as he possibly can to the point where Mark can feel Jinyoung’s breath on his face. Jinyoung looks at Mark closely and pushes his lips out into a pout that’s almost mocking, but there’s some genuine concern in his voice when he asks; “You okay, big guy?”  
  
“No,” Mark grumbles, squeezing his eyes shut so he won’t see Jinyoung’s stupid face and start laughing when he’s supposed to be mourning the loss of the only love he will ever feel in his life. “Leave me alone. Go get your hand checked out.”  
  
Jinyoung waves him off with his good arm. “Nah, I’ll do that later; you’re more important right now.”  
  
Mark doesn’t reply to that; he’s got nothing to say. It doesn’t surprise him, anyway -- Jinyoung is Mark’s best friend, always has been and always will be. They’ve always stuck together, since they were kids, and they’ve been a team for so long by now that Mark sometimes thinks the bond between them is running a little bit deeper than friendship, a little bit closer than brothers.  
  
He never says this out loud, of course. Jinyoung would probably just laugh at him if he did, call him a loser and then they’d never talk about it again. Mark doesn’t want to talk about it, anyway. Right now, he doesn’t want to talk about anything much, but he knows Jinyoung will want _something_ from him, after he’s made all this effort getting here. So Mark heaves a heavy sigh, opens his eyes but rolls onto his back so he’s staring up at the ceiling instead of looking at Jinyoung. He stays like that, silent for a few more moments, until Mark finally parts his lips and murmurs;  
  
“I really liked her, Jin.”  
  
“I know,” Jinyoung sighs sympathetically, “I’m sorry, man. You’ve just gotta pick yourself up and move on, though… It’s her loss, anyway.”  
  
Mark scowls. “Oh, definitely. I bet she’s fucking miserable about this, right now, too.”  
  
Mark can’t see Jinyoung, but he can practically hear his eyes rolling. “Of course not; she’s too stupid to realise what she’s just missed out on.”  
  
“Hey, just ‘cause she rejected me doesn’t mean you can be a dick about her. I really like her.”  
  
“I know - I’m not being a dick because she rejected you, I’m being a dick because she hurt my best friend, and that’s not cool with me,” Jinyoung replies matter-of-factly. Mark slants him a Look but Jinyoung just shrugs in response, totally unapologetic. “I’m on your side,” he says simply, “I don’t care what it is; it’s you and me against the world, bro.”  
  
Mark scoffs and turns his face away, but he can’t stop the little smile that forces its way onto his face. He knows Jinyoung’s spotted it already, as well, but Mark’s pride won’t let him admit that Jinyoung’s won whatever competition this was so he elbows Jinyoung’s side and mutters bitterly; “You’re such a fucking loser.”  
  
Jinyoung doesn’t even care, just lets out a victorious laugh and elbows Mark harder in return. “Yeah, says you. Now if we’re done with this, I need you to ask your mum to drive me to the hospital; I literally think my hand needs amputating right now.”  
  
Mark grumbles about Jinyoung being a nuisance, but does as he’s asked. In the end it turns out that Jinyoung really is injured, but it’s just a light sprain to his wrist; no amputation necessary. Mark still feels kind of sad over that girl, but after a few weeks of moping he’s more or less over it and everything goes back to normal again. Jinyoung and Mark go back to their gaming nights and _Walking Dead_ marathons, back to constant communication via any means necessary and back to being the closest couple of friends in school.  
  
It’s Mark and Jinyoung, against the world. It’s always been like that, no matter what, and Mark knows that’s how they’ll always stay.  
  
---  
  
  


**7 - learn desperate cries for help in every different language; mayday, aidez-moi, ayúdame…**  
  
---  
  
  


At the first chance they get, the survivors teach Yugyeom and Kunpimook how to fight. They teach them how to climb, how to run faster and faster. They teach them how to make enough noise to call for help and teach them how to move through the land without making a sound, how to listen out for danger and how to know when to flee.  
  
They teach the boys how to cling to what remains of their lives and never let go, because at this point that’s all any of them can hope to do.  
  
The kids pick it all up quickly; they’ve adapted much better to this life than Mark previously thought and he can’t deny that he’s impressed. They must have lost so much already (who hasn’t?) but whatever holes have been torn into the fabric of their lives, they patch up with each other. Best friends, through and through; they say Kunpimook-and-Yugyeom like they’re just one person and Mark knows how much they rely on each other. Mark knows because he’s felt it himself, he’s felt it so strongly, and he doesn’t even want to think about what might happen should one of them be killed or worse because then--  
  
The attacks are getting closer every day now. Zombies and wolves alike are closing in on them, winding around the group faster than the survivors can run.  
  
They teach the boys to fight, because soon that will be the only option any of them have.  
  
---  
  
  


**8 - don’t kiss trainwrecks. don’t kiss knives. don’t kiss.**  
  
---  
  
  


The ‘Jackson Problem’ never goes away.  
  
Mark never expected that it would -- Jinyoung’s best talent is his ability to hold a petty grudge -- and so he’s not surprised when they end up arguing about it again, far away from the rest of the group this time so they have some semblance of privacy. This particular fight is Jinyoung’s fault, Mark knows for a fact, no matter how much Jinyoung will insist that it’s Mark who started it, because Mark doesn’t start this shit.  
  
Mark never starts this shit, it’s always Jinyoung. It is _always_ Jinyoung.  
  
“I’m just saying, you don’t need to act like such a bitch all the time,” Mark seethes, “Jackson hasn’t done _anything_ wrong.”  
  
Jinyoung looks more offended that Mark has ever seen him. It doesn’t even matter, though - Mark’s sure it’s an act. “ _When the fuck_ have I _ever_ been a bitch to him?!”  
  
“ _Constantly_!” Mark snaps, “He can’t do _one thing_ without you making some sort of bitchy comment or giving him a funny look or some shit-”  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry I’ve upset your boy crush, Mark, I had no idea he meant so much to you,” Jinyoung is practically spitting in his rage. “Have you never considered the fact that I just might not _like_ the guy-?!”  
  
“I can’t believe you’re seriously _this jealous_ over _Jackson_ \-- he’s not even gay! Can’t I have _one_ friend-?!”  
  
“ _Who the fuck said this was about you_ -?!”  
  
“ _It’s always fucking about me_ -!”  
  
Jinyoung’s about to say something in response but a sudden noise from the trees behind them makes them both stop. They turn and Mark’s blood runs cold at what they see.  
  
A zombie. Its eyes are locked on Mark and Jinyoung, its body already lowered to a crouch, ready to pounce. Mark’s seen these things run before, he knows how fast they are; there’s no way he and Jinyoung are going to be able to escape now.  
  
“Mark,” Jinyoung breathes, “run… Now… _Run_ -!”  
  
Jinyoung grabs Mark’s hand and the pair of them start running for their lives at the exact same moment the zombie surges after them, teeth bared and ready for the kill.  
  
---  
  
  


**9 - pretend you made up the zombies and only superheroes exist**  
  
---  
  
  


The news breaks on a Sunday morning, when Mark and Jinyoung are in bed. Jinyoung’s sitting with his back leant against the wall, Mark’s snuggled up to him with his head resting on Jinyoung’s chest, Mark’s ear at the perfect spot to hear the steady drum of Jinyoung’s heart.  
  
The TV is on as background noise more than anything, as the couple themselves play and tease each other in a way that’s dangerously close to turning into foreplay. Mark doesn’t know what it is the reporter on screen says that catches Jinyoung’s attention and has his head whipping around to face the television, but within seconds they’re both hanging on to the reporter’s every word. Within seconds their warm little piece of paradise, right at the heart of the apartment they’ve only just moved into together, has turned cold and unsafe. Within seconds their worlds are thrown off-kilter and their bright future turns to dust.  
  
There are professionals discussing what this means, what happens next, what the country needs to do to defend itself. There are official statistics, video evidence, someone’s created a helpful little bar chart to show people just how likely it is that they’re going to die within the next three weeks.  
  
Mark watches it all play out before his eyes on their little TV screen, but he takes none of it in. He can’t, he can’t handle it; all Mark can do is hold onto Jinyoung tighter, tighter, hear his heart beat get faster and faster and hope, pray that they’ll survive this.  
  
They have to survive this.  
  
---  
  
  


**10 - pretend there is no kryptonite**  
  
---  
  
  


It’s the dream, it’s always the dream, and Mark is crying out in his sleep before it even gets to the good bit. He knows what’s going to happen -- he’s lived through it a thousand times before -- and he doesn’t want to see this, he doesn’t want to do this again, he doesn’t want to believe that it’s true it can’t be true it can’t-  
  
Someone’s shaking him awake. Someone’s shouting at him to wake up--it’s Jaebum, Jaebum is trying to force Mark out of sleep because they can’t draw attention to themselves, they can’t make this much noise or the wolves will come and the zombies will find them and they’ll die, they’ll all die, they-  
  
“Hyung, _please_!”  
  
That’s Kunpimook, there, probably peering over Jaebum’s shoulder as Mark comes to pieces in his own mind. At any other time Mark might be embarrassed, humiliated by the thought that his friends are seeing him like this but he can’t right now, he can’t, and he can’t wake up. Mark squeezes his eyes shut and fights Jaebum off desperately, clinging to the dream with every ounce of strength he has because he can’t wake up this time--maybe if he doesn’t wake up this time the dream will end differently, it will get better, it will change and Jinyoung won’t-  
  
Jinyoung can’t-  
  
---  
  
  


**11 - pretend there is no love so sweet that you would have died for it. pretend like your heart depends on it, because it does**  
  
---  
  
  


Jinyoung’s hand is ripped out of Mark’s grip as the zombie gets hold of him, and the scream that is torn from Jinyoung’s chest plays over and over in Mark’s brain like a broken record. They’ve reached the trees by now and Mark manages to grab hold of a fallen branch, heavy enough to swing around and into the monster to send it flying.  
  
It lets out an ungodly snarl, enough to send chills shooting through Mark’s body but he keeps going at it, keeps beating it over and over with the makeshift weapon because if he doesn’t then both Mark and Jinyoung are going to die. Mark doesn’t know at what point his desperate attempts to kill the zombie actually pay off, he just hears a sickening crack and suddenly the beast is on the ground; a broken, crumpled corpse.  
  
Mark doesn’t stop to think about what he’s just done. He doesn’t realise that this is the first time he’s ever killed another being, he doesn’t think about what this means for him now. Mark can’t think about anything at all any more, looking back at where his boyfriend is splayed out on the ground.  
  
Jinyoung isn’t moving.  
  
White noise deafens Mark’s ears as he throws himself to his knees beside Jinyoung, gathering his body up in his arms and cradling him close to his body like he’s something precious. He’s cold, pale and Mark’s sobbing before he can realise, before he can take a breath. He begs Jinyoung to stay, pleads with him to hold on a little longer but Mark’s prayers fall on deaf ears.  
  
The wounds are too deep. There’s too much blood. Even if Jinyoung could hear him he’d never be able to pull through this, he’d never be able to hang on and Mark knows that, he _knows_ but he can’t believe it because Park Jinyoung cannot be dead.  
  
It’s impossible, it’s unfathomable, it’s… It’s…  
  
It’s over.  
  
---  
  
  


**12 - forget his name.**  
  
---


End file.
